Words

This isnt the response I was referring to but it's something I wrote back in April - somewhat more personal - it was more relevant then, but I think it'll always apply to me any maybe you all might be able to relate?

April 5, 2006
Bismillah arRahman arRahim
There comes a point where reading the words of another and internalizing their borrowed meaning ceases to serve any substantial purpose. It starts out as a pebble, a stone, a boulder and finally, before you know it, your whole heart's gone hard and you're left lifeless. What happens is that at some point along the way, you stop making the connection between words and the meaning behind them.
For every word speaks higher than itself. It conveys a twofold meaning the resonates within us and allows us to react to it by virtue of the substance of the words and the feelings that it arouses within us.
Somewhere along the way though, even if certain words are cherished, others loudly lauded, their impact is almost flushed down a ruthless toilet. Why the crude terminology?
Well really, when one isn't even moved by the most beautiful forms of communcation and language impregnated with symbols that ought to stir us to go out and do something or be someone, then clearly something is missing. And again, as my mom says, "you can't clap with one hand" -- its a two-way affect.
Of course you can't say that "both the words and I am equally at fault". The words don't have a soul of their own until we recognize the soul behind their transient echoes and connect it with our own hidden, rusty sense of selfhood.
But that must mean that somehow the sense of selfhood that was on a path of conscious development -- unhindered by the pebbles and boulders that stubbornly glared as you just as confidently strolled by -- that selfhood went off track.
Unlike your past, when there wasn't even a track, there was merely cloud upon thick cloud that refused to hold you up. Since then, a track has at least been erected and maintained. Now, it is either changing directions or it has been tampered with. Or, its broken.

Mend yourself.

~

not written in the spirit of negativity at all, it was more of a "WAKE UP" kind of random thought process...