Discrimination

aisha, the post you made a few dates back makes me so sad. people are such jerks! and that was DEFINITE descrimination. too bad it's difficult to prove in court. it's shocking that that came from another "muslim" as well. good luck finding a job position! i'm so sorry that happened to you.

you know, even for me here in montréal, it was very difficult for me to get a job as an american.
first off, in this society, if you don't speak french and english it's almost impossible. i speak both luckily BUT the dialect they speak here is wayyyy different than what i learned in school (aka their french here is really bizarre and not standard international, aka no foreigner likes their "french"). secondly, if you don't already have connections, it's also pretty difficult to advance.

people usually don't like foreigners here and the minute i open my mouth they treat me differently.
even something as simple as going to the store or the bank can be very frustrating depending on who the clerk is. if you start speaking in english, they look at you with disgust as if you're trying to impose your language on them. but if you start out in french, the moment they hear you have an accent, they switch into english with an annoyed look on their face as if they want to prove they are superior to you and are bilingual and don't want to waste their time on someone with an accent.

RIDICULOUS!!!! it's so frustrating. And it's not even just the language thing. people literally say things like "go back to your own country" and are generally just rude and obnoxious..like bumping into you on the street w/out saying excuse me, never saying thank you for anything, basically just being all around obnoxious. that's not to say that SOME people aren't nice here but honestly, the majority of nice people i have met have all been immigrants.

luckily i have finally just come to terms with the fact that i don't care about anyone's opinion here or their huge obnoxious snotty attitudes. it took me a long time to finally just look past it and stop being self conscious.

i just speak in french to people here in stores, etc now and if they don't like the fact that i'm foreign, too bad! i act more confident when speaking now and people rarely switch into english with me, and if they ever do, i just continue in french to subtly point out that they're being rude speaking to me in another language when i clearly started talking to them in french.

of course, it depends on the circumstance...like if the person switches into english just to be polite or because they by some small chance happen to speak english better than french, then i have no problem speaking english w/ them...but like 95% of the time, they switch into the language with this haughty look on their face, so i have learned to just give them their snottiness right back to them on a nice silver platter and keep speaking french to them even after they rudely switch into (sometimes bad) english. lol whatever that means...i just wanted to use the words silver platter.

anyway, the point of this post is not to say that i can even imagine 1/2 of the descrimination hijabis face in north america since i do not wear hijab daily and that is definitely much more of a visual red flag attracting discrimination than just having an accent...but i just wanted to write this post basically just to relate on a smaller scale and to let people know they're not alone :).

like aisha was saying, i also think of my witty come backs too late since at first i'm always just shocked by people's rudeness...but now i've finally started to conjure up responses in my head (with the help of some people's advice) that help me respond on the spot.

for example, if someone asks you something rude like

"why are you wearing that?"

or "i'm Muslim too but I don't wear the Islamic head thing" (or whatever that dumb girl said to you, aisha)

or "hey, come here i want to talk to you (possible remark from sleezy guy)"...

a great response is a cold stare followed by "why?" or "why do you want to know?" or "why do you say that?"

it sends the "it's none of your business" message as clearly as a nice slap in the face, but ALSO at the same time it puts the other person on the spot and makes THEM a little nervous b/c then they have to answer a question instead of you. And really, there's no good explanation for their rude behavior so they have nothing to say and usually looked a little shocked and embarrassed. so you: +1 (cha-chiiing [fighting bell sound effect]), them: 0!

another great response is just the nice, simple cold hard stare in the eyes. People who make rude remarks to you usually don't expect you to be bold enough to look them in the eyes, so you can kind of turn the tables and make THEM shy.

finally, something I have found that works a lot is the guilting-them-out-with-politeness-but-not-really
method. It works somewhat like this:
stupid racist girl: "you know i'm Muslim too blah blah but I don't wear the head thing, blah.."

you: "sometimes I go to interviews where the person is really ignorant, but it's so nice to know that your company's employees are so open-minded and intelligent. thanks for giving me a good representation"

and then just turning around and walking away. OHHH! burrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnn!

hahaha ok maybe all of those responses are lame but maybe they COULD work at some point at some time in the future.

good luck again finding a job and take care everyone. salaams :)

-cathy

Importance of Good Company

Poor Frog

Once upon a time, there was a mouse, which, whilst passing a pond witnessed a frog emerge from the depth of the pond. Astonished by this unusual sight, the mouse began to converse with the frog and through this, a very warm and friendly conversation took place. A very close friendship grew between the two of them, until it developed into a love relationship. By mutual arrangement, they appointed a specific time at which they could meet each other in the mornings daily and converse with each other for a long time. At these special meetings they use to enlighten each other with their own opinions regarding certain topics or they use to entertain each other with exciting stories regarding their past. Their hearts opened up to each other and were joy filled at the sight of one another.

One day the mouse said to the frog “You are swimming around in the water while I am left all alone on the dry earth. I suffer the pangs of sorrow over being parted from you. When lonely, I come to the edge of the water to call to you, but while you are in the water, even the voice of a lover cannot be heard. I cannot be at peace by meeting you for such a short time each day.”

The mouse replied, “O beloved frog: I cannot live a moment of my life peacefully without seeing your face. By day, the sight of you is my life: by night the thought of you is my tranquillity and sleep. It will be very courteous on your part that you will permit me the pleasure of meeting you time upon time at every opportunity possible.”

The mouse carried on by saying “My respected friend, I am a creature that can live on land alone, whereas you can live on land and in water. But how is it possible for you to know inside the water that I have the desire to meet you?”

For quite a while they pondered upon this and consulted each other until finally, the mouse put an opinion forward. This opinion was that one end of a piece of string is to be tied to the foot of the frog and the other end is to be tied to the foot of the mouse. Thus, when the mouse has a desire to meet the frog he will just need to pull the string and the frog will respond by returning to the surface of the water.

The frog considered the mouse's suggestion to be a bad one and said in his heart, “This evil one, wishes to tie me up and make me live like a prisoner.”

Despite disliking the mouse's suggestion, the frog found an inclination within himself to accept to the request.

The two of them, by pulling the string were able to meet each other repeatedly each day until destruction struck them one morning. A vulture seeing it's pray i.e. the mouse, from high above soared down upon the mouse, it also unknowingly, lifted the frog out of the water where until now he was safe and comfortable. This was due to the fact that the string held the mouse and the frog together. Unfortunately, what fate awaited the mouse befell the frog as well. The vulture killed them both and devoured them. If the frog remained in the water and had not formed a friendship with the evil mouse, nothing would have happened to him and he would not have been the prey of the vulture.

Hadrat Rumi Rahmatullahe alayhi uses this story as an example to draw our attention to the harms and effects of having bad company. It is a very good story with a powerful moral lesson.

Hadrat Rumi Rahmatullahe alayhi says:

“In this story we see the soul, the self and the shaytaan. The self represents the mouse, the soul represents the frog and the vulture represents the shaytaan.

The self, in order to satisfy its desires engages the soul in evil practises, endeavours to tie it with a string so that the soul indulges in these evil practises as well. When the soul reluctantly obeys the desires of the self and befriends the self, it allows the shaytaan to pull it whenever it wishes. In this way the soul is also humiliated because of the contact with the self. Hence, when shaytaan will go to hell, the self, who was in its beak, will also go to hell and so will the soul which was tied to the self.

In this day and age, we live in the midst of bad people and evil company. By befriending these evildoers, we will eventually be affected by their foul doings and will also indulge in these sins. By indulging in things that are wrong, we will only become more and more sinful and we will be dragged with the evildoers into Jahannam, which is the totally the opposite direction to where we should be heading.

Whereas if we are to befriend the pious, we will be affected by their good deeds and we will eventually get in to Jannat.

My dear respected readers, we have been given two choices only, but the big question is, which one will we choose? In this world we are not forced to do anything, we act upon our desires.

May Allah Ta'ala grant us the ability to choose what is right and may he the Almighty grant us protection from one's self and from shaytaan.

Ameen.