Sin of a Cynic

As I sit here today and stare at this luminated lcd screen trying to round up a plentitude of thoughts into some kind of cohesive formation, I cannot help but reflect on the subject of cynicism.

It is often so unpalatable, leaving a stingingly bitter taste for anyone unfortunate enough to hear about ill learned lessons from someone who has gone down a disastrous route. I myself used to abhor a cynic - someone so adamently fused to the disgusting encounters of their past to appreciate their blessed present or prospectful future. Such a person cannot even seem capable of extracting well deserved lessons from their experiences - which neither make the experience itself seem beneficial or destined, increasing their bitter lamentations and subconciously plunging them deeper and deeper into a pit filled with their already ailing disposition.

But today, I want to ask the question of whether or not cynicism is really bad. Perhaps the only fault of a cynic is to impose their disagreeable observations on the light hearted and untarnished soul that is free of their own burden, and may never have to encounter any such disastrous situation unless a nasty old krone decided to enlighten them of such possibilities.

Is it not a possibility that perhaps a cynic does indeed carry some kind of wisdom, in its own demented right. Only through their experience, which is undoubtedly responsible for cultivating a unique individual can we gain certain knowledge. But at the same time... cynicism appears to be one step short of wisdom in its entirety... perhaps a premature wisdom... a fermenting lesson that one is still learning from.. or may learn from for the rest of their lives... a lesson with no concrete conclusion, because each time one is presumably reached it leads to unsavory outcomes which shows the preceding failed attempts to extract true and beneficial knowledge - since it causes one to walk down paths to other embittering expositions.

Is there not some connection between baggage and cynicism? One that has baggage certainly reflects a degree of cynicism, and one that is a cynic is sure to carry a decent amount of baggage. Should it not then be our greatest desire to purge ourselves of both baggage and cynicsm since both seem to be entities seperating us from achieving clean hearts? If we are busy checking in our multitudes of suitcases, how then do we expect to catch our flight?

Perhaps someone can indulge me in expressing how to seperate wisdom, knowledge, and cynicsm? A certain degree of awareness on the realities of our society (unfortunately) should understandably lead to a slight cynicism at the very least. A slight distrust, a sense of guardedness, or mental reclusiveness.

Ah, the trials of this life. We come in so pure and innocent. So full of fitra... and are conditioned to diverge from its very stamp on our souls. Surely the test is all in fighting the ordeals of bitter encounters, in dealing with society as best we can, and yet maintaining a strong understanding of the purpose of our existence.

Sometimes I don't know whether to consider over sensitivity a curse or a blessing. While it drives a person to be aware of things a more careless person would be blind to, it opens up the possibility for even more enduring pains.