From Ibn 'Abbas (radiyallahu 'anhu):
The Prophet (alayhi salat wa salam) stated that Allah Most High said:

"Indeed, the salat is only accepted from one who humbles himself in it before My Immensity, who is not overbearing towards My creatures, who does not persist in rebellion towards Me, who spends his days invoking (dhikr) Me, who shows mercy to the bereft, the widow, the traveler, and the afflicted. The spiritual light of such a one is as brilliant as the sun’s light! I preserve him with My Might, and charge My angels to protect him, and grant him light at the place of darkness, and knowledge at the place of ignorance, and his similarity to My other creation is as the Firdaws (the highest level of Paradise) to the remainder of Paradise"

Recorded by Hafiz Abu Bakr Bazzar in his Musnad

Never shall you attain to true piety unless you spend on others out of what you cherish yourselves; and whatever you spend - verily, God has full knowledge thereof.

[Quran 3:92]

Limada tandur ilay?!

So as you know (my devoted readers) I am currently in Doha, Qatar learning some fancy shmancy Arabic. Alhumdulilah, it is really a blessing to be here. I have been here since September, and now rounding off to 3 months.

When I first started the program, I felt absolutely lost. One of the teachers, Ustadh Ahmad only talks in Arabic and I felt panicked when I would think about his class. I thought maybe I wasn't cut out for this and how could I possibly understand him? All the girls in the class are way more advanced than me which is even more discouraging. But Alhumdulilah, I am finally finally finally starting to catch on! I struggle with speaking a bit, true, but I am understanding so much more. I also had a few dreams in Arabic since I have been here, so I am thinking that is more reassuring.

Also, initially when I had to translate our homework which usually comprises children's stories (as of now), it seemed like a very arduous and daunting task... it would take me awhile to go through it and I would be super glued to my kamoos the whole time. But now Alhumdulilah, I can zip through stories pretty quickly (with or without the kamoos) and understand most of the incumbent vocabulary. Even cooler, I can usually figure out the new vocabulary without the kamoos by using context clues in the other sentences! Who would have thought! :) I feel so cool, Alhumdulilah.

Last week, I gave my first presentation! I remember when I first started I panicked thinking about giving any presentation in Arabic or even getting up infront of the class (even though Ustadh Ahmad and Ustadha Rasha are always trying to put me up there!!!!) But Alhumdulilah the presentation went pretty well, given I stuttered and struggled through a few verbs with conjugating them in present and past tenses (there are 13 different ways to conjugate in present tense and 13 different ways to conjugate in past tense as well - in addition to learning the root of each individual verb!) So yeah, that is an update on things here after a jolly 3 months.

I like it here a lot, and the people I am in the program with have been a huge blessing for me. I can already see how sad it will be when the program will be over, but let's not think about that just yet ;)

Trash Bags: Take Out The Trash!

The more I live in this world, the more I am beginning to realize that men (nowadays) are not people of integrity, substance, self reflection, intelligence, or refinement. Really truly, women are - or have an innate tendency to strive for those things. They also have some kind of idea on a successful means to attaining those things. Not only that, but they choose to kindly and patiently put up with their uncouth counterparts. Okay okay okay, there are the few exceptions to men! (or exceptional examples) But still, I have a point worth noting even though it is drowning in a sea of cynicism. (or reality)

Herumph!

one fish two fish red fish blue fish

I don't have much to say and I haven't for awhile. So maybe I should try to describe my current state of being. I feel really displaced. On top of that, I feel great anxiety over possibly having this feeling for the rest of my life. I have been jumping ship to ship to ship to ship to ship, hoping to find some place where I belong. And so far it is really nowhere here, or there, or anywhere. I am both restless and adamant about searching, until I find solitude - I am thinking it may not be in a physical state of being, but in a mental or spiritual state of being. I am opened to that, and so there is hope for me. I wish there was someone to grab me and shake me out of this. But there is noone. Is this how life goes on?

I am already petrified enough, so please don't say yes.