Imam Ghazali's Last Words

Imam Ghazali woke up one early morning and as usual offered his prayers and then enquired what day it was, his younger brother, Ahmad Ghazali replied,"Monday." He asked him to bring his white shroud, kissed it, stretched himself full length and saying "Lord, I obey willingly," breathed his last.

And underneath his head rest they found the following verses; composed by him, probably, during the night.

        "Say to my friends, when they look upon me, dead
       Weeping for me and mourning me in sorrow
       Do not believe that this corpse you see is myself
       In the name of God, I tell you, it is not I,
       I am a spirit, and this is naught but flesh
       It was my abode and my garment for a time.
       I am a treasure, by a talisman kept hid,
       Fashioned of dust, which served me as a shrine,
       I am a pearl, which has left it's shell deserted,
       I am a bird, and this body was my cage
       Whence I have now floron forth and it is left as a token
       Praise to God, who hath now set me free
       And prepared for me my place in the highest of the heaven,
       Until today I was dead, though alive in your midst.
       Now I live in truth, with the grave - clothes discarded.
       Today I hold converse with the saints above,
       With no veil between, I see God face to face.
       I look upon "Loh-i-Mahfuz" and there in I read
       Whatever was and is and all that is to be.
       Let my house fall in ruins, lay my cage in the ground,
       Cast away the talisman, it is a token, no more
       Lay aside my cloak, it was but my outer garment.
       Place them all in the grave, let them be forgotten,
       I have passed on my way and you are left behind
       Your place of abode was no deweling place for me.
       Think not that death is death, nay, it is life,
       A life that surpasses all we could dream of here,
       While in this world, here we are granted sleep,
       Death is but sleep, sleep that shall be prolonged
       Be not frightened when death draweth night,
       It is but the departure for this blessed home
       Think of the mercy and love of your Lord,
       Give thanks for His Grace and come without fear.
       What I am now, even so shall you be
       For I know that you are even as I am
       The souls of all men come forth from God
       The bodies of all are compounded alike
       Good and evil, alike it was ours
       I give you now a message of good cheer
       May God's peace and joy for evermore be yours."

The Jug

On a scalding day my parched throat longed for refreshment.

I spotted a jug and set my heart upon it.

How thirsty was I that I poured myself a drink.

A devastating blow came that knocked it from my lips.

It was unfair, unjust, unexpected – were my brooding lamentations!

Not a sip was allowed, not a drop received.

The desperation of thirst had blinded my intellect.

All that I knew was the growth of my need and the lack of relief.

Too occupied were my senses to notice or perceive.

That, where the cup had fallen was left a puddle of acid.

Too ungrateful and ignorant was I to realize my surrounding location.

That, where I stood came gushing forth a delicious spring.

Too veiled was I and too rooted in the bitterness of the past.

I did not realize that it had started raining.

The Re-Infestation by Fly-nals

I am still a kid. I am still in school. Alhumdulilah.

... but I am about to be done with school, inshAllah.

December 14th is my last final... Russian Politics - at least I can go out with a bang. I don't know what I feel these days. It is a nervous and anxious trepidation mixed with infrequent and short spurts of relief.

I remember hearing about something called 'building associated illness' and I wonder if I have it. Every time I walk through the hallways of Cabell... or I eat at Newcomb... or I avoid Alderman... or I enter Pavilion 8... there is no solace... heh... ok, well maybe there is some solace in Pavilion 8... because:

"Truly, it is by the Remembrance of Allah that hearts find rest." [Qur'an, 13.28]

I am going to go do more work because of the fake finals frenzy. After this stuff is done I will sit down and write a real posting inshAllah.

May Allah (swt) bless you all, my dear friends... Let us all look forward to and prepare for our REAL graduation... because death is the graduation from the school of life.

your place is in my heart... and you have never left it.

I indeed marvel profoundly at all those who pretend to fall in love at first sight; I cannot easily prevail upon myself to believe their claim, and prefer to consider such love as merely a kind of lust. As for thinking that that sort of attachment can really possess the inmost heart, and penetrate the veil of the soul's recess, that I cannot under any circumstances credit. Love has never truly gripped my bowels, save after a long lapse of time, and constant companionship with the person concerned, sharing with him all that while my every occupation, be it earnest or frivolous. So I am alike in consolation and in passion; I have never in my life forgotten any romance, and my nostalgia for every former attachment is such that I well nigh choke when I drink, and suffocate when I eat. The man who is not so constituted quickly finds complete relief and is at rest again; I have never wearied of anything once I have known it, and neither have I hastened to feel at home with it on first acquaintance. Similarly I have never longed for a change for change's sake, in any of the things that I have possessed; I am speaking here not only of friends and comrades, but also of all the other things a man uses-clothes, riding-beast, food, and so on. Life holds no joy for me, and I do nothing but hang my head and feel utterly cast down, ever since I first tasted the bitterness of being separated from those I love. It is an anguish that constantly revisits me, an agony of grief that ceases not for a moment to assail me. My remembrance of past happiness has abated for me every joy that I may look for in the future. I am a dead man, though counted among the living, slain by sorrow and buried by sadness, entombed while yet a dweller on the face of this mortal earth. Allah be praised, whatever be the circumstances that befall us; there is indeed no other God but He!.....

[Abu Muhammad 'Ali ibn Ahmad ibn Sa`id ibn Hazm al-Andalusi]

I found a cool quote :)

“When I was a young person, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town, and as an older person, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old person, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.”

--An Unknown Monk, 1100 A. D.

Dungeons and Dragoons

Now I am writing about vocational education policy in Germany and Japan and how it differs from the UK and the US. It is gonna be an amazing night. This class was, man... definitely worth taking!

(i am really only pretending to be pedantic)

But anyways.... I have left Cornbread in the fortress of "solitude" and am writing the paper at Mai's. Surprise surprise, I am not always at Thornton afterall!

Right but anyways you guys. The world can be a scary place to live in. Be careful, inshAllah.

(yeah, and dragoons are real... go play some starcraft you, ajam)

Yummy in my Tummy!

Here's one for you, Asma Hamid...

Official Nafs Challenge Summer 2007

Hahaha.. I am making it sound like some kind of Olympics game(...)

But yeah, I am at Thornton again trying to whip up a paper so I can manage to get some sleep before its too late, inshAllah. Yeah, and I want a break. So I will let you know about the plan for this week.

I dared Cornbread to go without tea or other caffeine associated beverages for a week. She reluctantly accepted, and in turn I cannot go on facebook for a week... its harder than I thought... since I would probably be on it right now to put off writing this paper... instead of writing this below than average posting... hahaha... if I can even call it that... I know my readers are used to only the best, sorry to leave you disappointed. (HAHAHAH... also, I am delighted to know that people are still reading this... I am really cracking up right now).

Okay.

So... I am currently writing about how American, European, and Japanese public policies and how they are all different based on their cultures and ideas. What a shocking surprise!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahaha... ok ok ok, I will stop. It is okay but its a wak paper nonetheless... I would rather be perusing Faraz Rabbani articles on sunnipath.

Also, I am trying to figure out how to post Shahed's egg pudding video onto this blessed blog. But since the old hard-drive crashed, I have been using public computers which probably have some kind of built in limiting device that wont let me do things like that. Allahu Alim.

Ooooohhh, let me see if this works:




Anyways, on that note, I will end this amazing posting that has undoubtedly left everyone on edge of their seats pining away for more. InshAllah I won't keep you waiting too long...

Tasbahi alaa khayr!

Pseudo Reality

I get these really crazy headaches now... I think they are like psychologically induced tension headaches... Mommy thinks that its from me tying my hijab too tightly.. But I know for sure they are not throbbing or sharp in nature... Its like a constant dull warm pain that ferments near my eye sockets and floats up to my forehead and back towards the rest of my skull. I don't think that constitutes as a migraine threat... Hafeez told me to relax before I erode my brain... but I think it might be too late for that... Allahu Alim...

Anyways.. I am just in Charlottesville currently taking summer classes... I don't know how I am going to get through another semester here. Asma and myself are currently in Thornton... its nice having the place to ourselves, Alhumdulilah. It is nice to settle in the moment and relax in the security of that instant. Today, Asma was telling Shahed (her future business partner, hah) in the car that she is going back to UAE towards the end of August... and man, it really hit me that she is leaving... Not only that, but things are constantly changing... incessant fluctuations. There is no sense of grounding yourself in this pseudo-reality.

And then it made me think that things will really be changing... to a very expansive degree. Shareef is going to Detroit to start a beautiful life with his awesome wife inshAllah, Hafeez will be off to his own residency in a year... and Mommy may or may not decide to stay with me wherever I end up... which is still unbeknownst to me. I have some idea of what I want to do, which I am going to keep a secret for now until a more solid plan forms inshAllah... but it seems like I am floating on utter uncertainty and shifty potential scenarios. But really, how is that different from if I really did have some grounding in this pseudo-reality?

I wonder why I have to be here another semester. InshAllah it wont be too rough. Keep me in your duas you guys.

(btw, I have 2-3 other posts I have been meaning to put up... related to umrah, pakistan, collective singularity, tawakul, etc etc....) InshAllah after this summer class I will catch up on the postings that everyone is probably too busy to read anyways ;)

Alien Aisha's Alliteration

Alhumdulilah I am back :)

Everyone is sick right now (a cold resulting from a rapid shift from hot to cooler climate) except for me. This was a conversation that Hafeez and me had while Mommy and Shareef were asleep:

Hafeez: Are you sick too?
Me: No... well, yes... maybe.
Hafeez: Huh?
Me: Well... if you consider head lice an illness... because it is one in the Quran. (see 2.196)

Now that I have probably thoroughly disgusted most of you (Saman is not included in this assumption) I will go on to reassure you that I have purged myself of this ailment Alhumdulilah since the above conversation took place... and I plan to use all of your hair brushes, combs, hats, and hijabs when I next see you, inshAllah. hahahahaha, gosh I am gross!

Okay, enough jokes. I wanted to share a cool story my aunt told me while I was in Paki before I forget to mention it. I really loved the story. Now I am going to pretend to be my aunt and translate the story from Urdu to English simultaneously (man, I am so skilled!):

I remember when I was in school there was this one weird girl that I always tried to stay away from. She was the strangest looking person I had ever seen. She had heavy drooping lips and broad shoulders with thick facial features. Whenever I used to see her I would start walking the other way, and just seeing her would get on my nerves. But for some reason she was really popular and had a bunch of friends, and I could never figure out why. One time I was absent from school for a week and was scared I was going to be in big trouble because of my absences when I came back. When I got to school and checked the attendance roster, I saw that someone had marked me present for everyday that I had missed. I was so confused and had no idea what happened so I asked my friends who did that. They said that same girl who I couldn't stand and avoided would always raise her hand and say 'present' every time my name was called. I started to talk to the girl and was interested in getting to know her. I realized that she had one of the best personalities I had ever encountered. Every misconception I had about her quickly melted away and was replaced by an earnest love and deep rooted friendship. Instead of running away from her like I used to, I would wait for her after school and her face was the one I always wanted to see. A strong and apparent beauty had grown in my perception of her and I could not have imagined how I ever viewed her differently.

I really enjoyed this story. I love my khalah for telling it to me. Hearing this always reminds me how true beauty is not in superficial elements of society or people, but how it really lies in our emotions, actions, perceptions, good nature, and caring gestures.

I too have learned that people become beautiful once you get to know them for who they are and after you appreciate them for the capacity of goodness that they contain. I know its a simple lesson, but its always a refreshing one, Alhumdulilah rabil alameen.

EARTH TO AISHA

Assalamu'alaykum ya akhti fi al-bakistan...
I just wanted to check in with you and see if you had access to the internet. Asma, Esra and I send our concern and love to you. I can safely speak on behalf of the three of us that we have been collectively thinking about you and - even missing you =P. However, I do not want to type more at this point for fear that you may not even be reading any of this in our beloved backward homeland (joke joke lol internet is very common there now). But yeah I just don't know if you'll be online any time soon. Whenever you get the chance, let us know you have access to the net so that we may resume communication. I love and think of you quite often, quite sincerely.

fi aman Allah

deeply hope and pray that all is well. Boy oh boy do I have "pakistan stories" to share!

take care of yourself and be good and strong and carefree.
saman

Sanins Book of Records 2006

Here is an exclusive to Sanin's Book of Records 2006:

World's oldest baby - Aisha Ahmed
Most fragile 20 year old - Jasen Kidd
Corniest Mullah - Farhan Khan
Most popular - Zara Haq
Most like an ape - Farrukh Memon