keep his wave on swim wa waves on swim so they hate on him

For a long time now I have been thinking of not wearing hijab anymore.  I am not sure who to even talk to about this with.  It is a painful decision that I have been putting off as I do love it.  I love it.  But there are things about it that I want to disassociate with entirely.

I feel I am the same person with or without it.  Piety resides in the heart, not in what you are or are not wearing.  It disgusts me how muslim communities now a days see a beard or a scarf and automatically assume piety. Oh mashAllah they think! What a good person! What rubbish.  Even more rubbish is how much religious discourse revolves around these things. Has religion and spirituality come to this? Some watered down superficial symbolic rubbish.

I do not want to identify with communities like this.  I avoid them like the plague and I feel that by wearing a headscarf I get clumped in with them... or they enthusiastically claim me.  No thank you, no thank you, no thank you.  I have started avoiding muslim people in general as well.  Or people that are over zealously PROJECTING an image of superficial religiosity.

Religion is a personal journey that allows the creation to reach the Creator.  It is a beautiful and deeply personal relationship that has nothing to do with anyone else.

Hijab offers me many blessings and protections in society.  I do acknowledge that and I love how it prevents me from dealing with vices of conceit in many ways.  But at the end of the day, I want to enjoy what Allah has created me as.  Not for society, not to show off, not to inflate my own ego, but to appreciate a creation that Allah has created.

So what if I want to wear pretty dresses and style my hair.  Who cares if I want to go out and feel the blessings of the wind and sun.

I have also learned that those that are so quick to judge are EXACTLY the types whose judgement should not be cared for at all.  I am thinking when I come back to the states for grad school it would be the time to try things without it anymore.  Maybe I would decide to put it on again, who knows?

Please Allah always guide me.  Show me the way to please You and show me the way to Love.