things are different now when i walk by, you start to sweat and you don't know why

Lately my face has been breaking out to a ginormous degree, similar to my last semester of undergrad.... and this breakout is happening even after 5 months of accutane usage, benzoyl peroxide 10% cream, multani mitti, clay masks, brevoxyl face wash, and all kinds of other stupid things.

This always happens, when stress enters my life. I have reached another cross roads in my life, not quite sure what to do after the program. I made a map out of things with a list of enumerable possibilities and am anxious to see something tangible manifest. I am not too keen on coming back to the states, cause I am not too sure if I am meant to be going back to anything there (at least for right now), instead I want to explore what the rest of the world is offering :)

But still, there is always grad school to fall back on, I think I finally found a program that holds some charm and interest for someone as whimsical and fleeting as my "jack of all trades and master of none" self would find. And believe me, this came after awhile of considering what is worth getting myself into debt over, and what is worth staying in one place and working for awhile to pay back over. Alhumdulilah, maybe then if this grad school thing works out, I can finally get a motorcycle because that has not seemed to be a good idea here in Doha, by annnnyyyy means! But if I do get in, maybe deferment would be a good option.

Other than that, there is a large list of other possibilities.... maybe stay and work in Doha, which is becoming a great hub of cultures and peoples and opportunities (if it already isn't that, I hear they are even opening a water park here!) amidst a swamp of superficiality and contrived sense of being. Plus it is close to Jeddah and Daddy, which is always a plus plus plus plus plus to the max, Alhumdulilah. I am thinking it can't be that hard to scrounge up a few friends outside of the program? Maybe I could audit some Arabic classes here, who knows?

After that, I am thinking Damascus would be cool, Istanbul would be insanely cool, Tarim/Sanaa would be phenomenal (but in a little bit). Amman is always in the mix of things if need be, as is Cairo. And we all know if all else fails, I can go to Seoul and save up once again to continue these excursions.

Yeah but sometimes, I even think, this is all too much, I am too tired and I am not that strong, just give it up and maybe find a decent asylum or a side street to rest my aching soul on. Allah (swt) help me, help me, help me.