I am a staunch believer that stagnant societal interaction prevents personal growth and development. This is not to say that some consistency is not necessary in some form and from a select few, but certainly, really, mix it up.
Through my experiences I have found that sometimes people gravitate towards others for different reasons, not always the best ones. Bonds with others could be due to dependency, convenience, habitual practice, self serving interests, or heedless interaction.
A person could be dependent on someone in someway (and really, I hate to say ‘dependent’ in the sense of dependent, because everyone and everything is dependent on Allah), but I am speaking in regards to the perception of the person and the way they view the necessity of the interaction. They may view a need for dependency on the other whether it be for income, physical/emotional sanctuary, affection, food, information, etc. This is not to say that an individual does not need certain things, or does not even need the person, since they could be a venue for bestowing certain things through the Grace of Allah. But there comes a point where the venue may change and the means of receiving these things, again, through the Grace of Allah, may change.
Also, there is the aspect of convenience. Sometimes an individual may associate with another simply because of close proximity and lack of selection. I have seen this even with people in the same high schools, neighborhoods, small towns, ethnic circles, etc. It is really that a person does not know that there are other tangible options for communication and development that may be much better suited to their needs. Why venture onwards, when you don’t know that the grass could be greener on the other side?
Habitual practices could result from the convenience of societal interaction. For example - a relationship or marriage resulting from a convenient interaction. “Oh we went to the same high school and we started dating, got married, had a baby, and we have been living in the same town all our lives!” Or even, people get used to an interaction and may no longer see the ‘benefit’ to an interaction but just carry on in the mundane simply because it is routine.
Yeah so self serving interests, pretty self explanatory. Using someone just to get ahead, knowing that it is a parasitical interaction. Yikes!
Heedless interaction, hmm, just hanging out, chilling, and passing time. A person may not really be apt to perceiving the affect such an interaction is having on them.
Yeah so really, these are some of the reasons that some interactions carry on, when others may choose to prefer otherwise. I have found that when bonds are formed for not necessarily the best reasons and a person denies themselves a chance to grow and develop by partaking in them, they have given into self sabotage. This is not to say that certain stagnant bonds will not cultivate wonderful interactions that lead to great emotional, spiritual, and intellectual development, but the chances are not as likely that you will successfully find such individuals. In order for this to happen the interaction should come from someone that has to understand that the one they are interacting with needs to grow, thrive, develop, and experience things all around them. They need to understand that a person will change, based on life challenges, personal preferences, learned lessons, all kinds of stuff! So basically, there has to be breathing room for an individual to develop with consideration to these factors. But realistically, how many people really understand these things? Show me one. Well then, that one is the exception to the negativity that ensues from stagnant societal interaction.
Continuing on about negativity from societal interaction, I have found that this exists everywhere! People want to recognize you, figure you out, compartmentalize you, tell you who you are – all based on their own perceptions. Instead, tell them – Get a life and let me be me, I see you trying to be you!
Even if someone is not holding you to their own perceptions of you and holding you to your former self (as objective as their perception of your former self can be) – really, how is that good either? If someone is constantly tell you, oh man you are like X, Y, Z… joking with you in the same manner, expecting you to enjoy the same things, how are you expecting yourself to develop if you allow yourself to be contained in a bubble that someone else has created for you? Or even an old bubble that you have created for yourself?
It is after refreshing experiences and moments where you can define who and what you want to be that a person can have a chance to assess who they are growing to become, hopefully we are all becoming better people, inshAllah.
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