The Influence of Association

It seems that flu season is in full swing – or at least I hear as much about the outside world from the confines of my sanctuary.

Strangely enough, each flu appears to be different, specially tailored to afflict its victim in a seemingly malicious manner. I hear about symptoms such as headache, fever, chills, sneezing, runny nose, nasal inflammation, blocked nose, dry cough, sore throat, sweating, body aches, muscle aches, limb pain, joint pain, loss of appetite, prostration, exhaustion, fatigue, weakness, and myalgia. A convalescent is rarely known to have a mix of all these blessed ingredients in their brimming stew of misery, but there is usually a special combination of a few of these things. Each flu is distinct. No two flu are exactly alike. And certainly with such an extensive list of symptoms, who does not qualify to claim a flu? Heck, with my myalgia I could be coming down with something right now.

Still, a flu can be passed on from one to another – even though the developing sickness proves to manifest in a very different manner from what was known to the initial benefactor. I am no doctor, of course (nor do I claim any other form of noteworthy profession) but it could be possible for the incurring flu to resemble similar qualities from the first flu, but it is still its own special self – its own unique snowflake shape. Even more interesting is factoring in the pain tolerance and perception of the sickling in question. A standard cough, if there is such a thing, if passed onto the next person may be received with tolerance and forbearance, or with indifference, or with misery and agony (just to name a few adjectives in an immeasurable list of possible descriptions).

How would you describe your experience?

Truly a person cannot expect another to understand their own bearing in its entirety, and humanity only struggles to see each others situation with their own subjective lens of cognition. How do you gauge a standard for misery, when the person claiming it may never have experienced misery at all - or at least what you understand misery to be.

We seemed to have both acquired the flu and are both miserable thanks to Samuel who is two cubicles down from me.

How convenient. How interesting. What is the point? Ok, I am getting to it now.

There are all kinds of contagious ailments, not just varying forms of influenza, and there are all kinds of parts to us that have the possibility of being afflicted. Gallbladder, spleen, patella, calcaneus, pyloric sphincter, tonsils, cerebellum… you get the idea. Of course any of these things could go wrong just by your own stupidity and decision to hang around asbestos, meaning you don’t even need to catch it from someone! But the point to this petition of warning is to directly address contagious ailments.

… and we are not just flesh and bone…

We have heart, mind, and soul - parts which are more often at risk of being affected than any other part of us and yet are dangerously ignored, to the degree that we are heedless of impurities in these systems. Even scarier, sometimes people realize there is something wrong and actively choose to disregard and reject a means of treatment.

It does take a lot of energy to comb out all these knots, maybe it’s just easier to leave them in. Dreds don’t look that bad anyways.

But wait until you have to shave it all off!

Scariest of all is when people have deluded themselves to a degree of contentment where they are utterly incapable of perceiving the presence of any discrepancy at all.

You might remember the last time that your body trembled from a fever or when you last shed a few tears, but when was the last time you felt your heart weep and quiver with pain?

How have we become like this?

It seems to me that the answer is simple: through neglect of the amanat and blessings that we have generously been given, disregarding our total health, and cheating ourselves of benefiting from understanding the potential capacity of our faculties. Taking all this into consideration, we could be passing on our impurities to others, whether we acquired them on our own, or through association. They don’t realize it, and we certainly don’t realize it - Atleast, until the damage is done.

Society could just be a pool filled with ailing individuals that are ready to contaminate you if you jump in. You might even bring in your own sickness and add to the festering mess.

Of course this would hardly ever be anyone’s intention. We do this heedlessly and carelessly, unknowingly and foolishly. We meet with our friends, we engage with our family, we interact with our colleagues, and how often do we think about how our actions may truly be affecting someone else? How often do we analyze a situation from another person’s perspective and decide to take an action that would be better suited for the person we are dealing with? How often do we confide in them but instead end up backbiting and introduce a disturbance in someone’s heart in terms of how they feel towards another person? How often do we joke and jester and fail to see that we would be humiliated and angry if someone did the same to us? How often do we flaunt our accomplishments and perceived victories in the faces of the less fortunate? How often do we disregard someone else’s needs just so we can fulfill our own?

And how often do we utterly fail to remember that our Beloved Rasulullah salalahu alayhi wa salam told us that -

“None of you will truly believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself”
[Sahih Bukhari]

How many of us want to be around those that do not have good intentions and don’t care about how they are influencing our lives? I am sure none of us want that. Then how can we possibly allow ourselves to subject others to that?

My dearest brothers and sisters…

The reason for this entry is not just to share a few of my thoughts. Today I want to ask everyone to consider not only our relationship with Allah Aza Wa Jal but also our relations with one another. I want everyone to understand the serious responsibility that each one of us carries, and to realize that we cannot shy away from it due to ignorance or unawareness or even laziness. Every person that we encounter is part of our risq and should be treated as such. Every person that we come across is going through their own struggle; every person that we encounter has a mind and a discerning eye. Every person that we encounter has the ability to love you or hate you, the ability to teach you something or learn something from you. Each person you meet has a family, their own perception of existence, their own ability to comprehend, to feel pain, to enjoy life and see beauty around them or experience misery at every turn. Every person has been strategically placed in our path for a reason, whether we have the capacity to realize it at the time or not. And every person you meet has embarked on the same journey you have.

I hope that we use this realization to be more mindful of our state of health, not only for ourselves but also for other people. The people we care about. The people around us now, and those that we hope to be spending our akhira with, inshAllah.

Narrated Abu Musa: Allah's Apostle said, "The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is I like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith's bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof."
[Sahih Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 34, Number 314]

The influence of association is something that we should all be aware of. It can be a beneficial experience where we surround ourselves with those who are striving for the sake of Allah (swt) and remind us to do the same, or we can decide to stay around those that take us away from the Sunnah of Rasulullah salalahu alayhi wa salam and infect us with sicknesses. Let us make sure that we constantly and perpetually work on never being someone who has influenced another away from Allah (swt).

Narrated Abu Musa: The Prophet said, "A faithful believer to a faithful believer is like the bricks of a wall, enforcing each other." While (saying that) the Prophet clasped his hands, by interlacing his fingers. [Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 8, Number 468]

“A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend.” [Abu Dawood and at-Tirmithi]

Let us be mindful that we have the ability to cultivate our circles of friendship and remove impurities from it. Let us help one another stay on Sirat al Mustaqeem.

The Day that the wrong-doer will bite at his hands, he will say, "Oh! would that I had taken a (straight) path with the Messenger! "Ah! woe is me! Would that I had never taken such a one for a friend! "He did lead me astray from the Message (of Allah) after it had come to me! Ah! the Evil One is but a traitor to man!"
[The Holy Qur’an, Surah Al-Furqan 25:27-29]